7.22.2009

Puttin' on the Ritz

I read this today, and wondered...Do I flaunt my pregnancy? I know that because I am very happy and love to see my belly growing, and it's all I've ever wanted, I tend to talk about it a lot. I seriously hope that I have never "Put on the Ritz" or in other words "ostentatiously or pretentiously displayed" my pregnant belly to the point where I am snubbing others who aren't pregnant? Have I?



Have you ever known someone who totally flaunts their pregnancy? Only once have I had someone say to me (without knowing that I was struggling with infertility and multiple miscarriage) something like, "Oh, you won't understand because you've never been pregnant."

I know that I haven't run around the city dancing with my belly hanging out, but please tell me that I am not guilty of "Puttin on the Ritz"... :(

10 comments:

Amy said...

I don't know that I would call that person's comment to you"puttin on the Ritz" but I do think comments like that are alienating and hardly appropriate, even if someone is in a different stage of life than yourself.


I don't blame you for talking about pregnancy because this is something that YOU HAVE WAITED FOR much longer than most people. Being happy and sharing that is different than putting on the ritz.

The Sessions said...

yikes! You definitely aren't putting on the ritz by any stretch of the imagination!!

mrs.infertility said...

of course i only know you from this blog....but my opinion is no! no! no! you don't flaut it. i clearly can tell you are happy. i mean, this is what you've wanted, it's what we all want. dont let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't be happy!

Sweet Em said...

There is an Infertility blog out there...probably stirrup queen, that was trying to get all women who have experienced IF to wear a "pomegranate" colored thread around their wrist, as sort of a "I'm in the club" symbol. This would be particularly helpful for women with kids to wear to clue in the as yet unsuccessful IF-ers that "they know."

Because if you "know" then you practically MUST flaunt what you've got. You. Worked. Hard. and you deserve to enjoy it. I hope there is a difference between enjoying something and flaunting it. Because what is the point of all the work if you have to hide it when you "win"?

If only those who "know" regardless of their status (trying, pregnant, harried mother of 4) could recognize each other.

The Kesler Family said...

I'm not there to see you everyday, but I wouldn't say that you're flaunting your pregnancy. And even if you think you might be a little bit, you deserve to Laura (even if it is just in front of C!)

MindySue said...

i don't know about you, but that was one of the most disturbing videos i've seen in a while. you can't help but wonder what passersby were thinking.

i'm sure you haven't been like that because you've been on the receiving end of the ritz. you're probably just overly sensitive to the fact that you could be because it's happened to you.

Christine Dallimore said...

Hee, Hee!! I love the video- hilarious. This is your time woman-- It's wonderful that you are sharing your experiences and happiness. To me, it's comforting to hear you talk about your pregnancy. It reminds me that there is hope and that there are success stories!! One day I too will have mine. This is something you have waited, yearned (and worked) a long time for. Enjoy it girl - I'm seriously happy for you!!!

Ashley said...

This one's hard.

I wondered that when I was pregnant.

Is talking so happily about my pregnancy, my expensive, cried over, fought for and hard earned pregnancy

rude?

Because, let's be honest, part of the whole dream of being pregnant is getting the attention and special treatment.

We've earned it, we've sacrificed so much for it

yet

even when we don't forget where the blessing came from

are we being inappropriate?

It's like finding the golden ticket after searching through a billion bars of chocolate.

Everyone around you is still searching, or you don't know who is, do you show your excitement?

I think that the answer is this:

As an infertile woman, finding out that another woman who has struggled has become pregnant doesn't hurt nearly as much as hearing someone complain about becoming pregnant accidentially.

Especially because you KNOW that they realize how damned blessed they are and that you'd give anything to be in their shoes.

So, that said;

Squeal in delight at kicks because it gives us hope.

Tell us all about your morning sickness, we're right there with you and we know you secretly love it.

Post all about your new clothes because you've earned those duds.

And know

that we're all looking at you and thinking

"Here's proof; it's not impossible."

Best Wishes.

Cynthia said...

I'm a former infertility sufferer. It's been awhile since I was in the trenches (my youngest is 6) but you remember it always. I doubt you've flaunted your pregnancy. This is something you wanted badly and sacrificed greatly to obtain. Do NOT feel as though you must temper your happiness because others MIGHT be envious.

I'm sure you don't 'flaunt' it to others who may be struggling but you've earned the joy you WANT them to all experience someday. There is a road to parenthood for EVERYONE willing to do what is required to get there. It isn't fair that it's harder for some than others. It isn't fair that some can ultimately become pregnant through treatment while others arrive at parenthood through adoption.

It really has nothing to do with fair and everything to do with 'how bad do you want it?' If you want it bad enough, you'll make any sacrifice to obtain treatment/adopt. Now, figuring out what is required of YOU, personally, is the point of the trial and it differs by individual.

Oh- and I think the point of that video was more to make fun of all those belly photo shoots that are so popular now. I think they're weird but to each her own.

Congratulations on making it to the next part of the crazy journey!

Harris said...

Yup Laura you so put on the "Ritz" Lol. No you don't!
Are you kidding you have worked so hard the get where you. You are happy and elated to be having one of gods beautiful children and you know how great of a reward this is! If anything I would say you are understanding, and extremely helpful to us who have to go through similar experiences.
Also, you bring me hope. You make me feel like there is Hope of one day being a mom, it may take some time, but it will be worth it! When that happens, don't blame me for being excited about it!

If you want to have a party I say lets party! You deserve it! Put on the Ritz sista!
~Haylie Harris