Sort of Therapy

A couple Sundays ago, the Relief Society lesson was about Elder Holland's October Conference Address "Like a Broken Vessel".
For those that don't know what that talk is about, you can read it here.

In the talk he talks about Stephanie Nielson and the plane crash she was in.  The lady that gave the lesson showed the video "My New Life" about her plane crash, her family and her life now.  It's one that came out when I was a blogger.

There was something in the video that touched me this time that didn't exactly stand out as much before.  She says in the video, "It's been sort of therapy for to write my feelings and what I am going through."  And I started to remember what therapy this blog really had been for me through my miscarriages and infertility struggles.  And I decided that I was, once again, at a place in my life where I needed some comfort and healing through writing.

So here I am again.  In a way I feel embarrassed that this blog is a place I spill all the bad and hard things that happen to me, but my hope is that I can help myself to deal with the emotional and personal issues that I have been facing and trying to very hard overcome.

I remember that having the network of friends and (even people who I've never met) helped, they gave encouragement and led me to others who were struggling and helped me not feel so alone.

What I have been trying to deal with is postpartum anxiety.  My 2nd baby was born in November 2012 and I didn't realize that over a period of about a year, I was dealing with postpartum anxiety and the less widely known postpartum OCD.  Crazy town I tell you! Ha ha! Right?  But really it's not funny.  I've come a long way for sure, but I still have a ways to go and I hope this will help me through it in some way.  Hope is what it's about for me.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

I come back and blog when I'm trying to sort out feelings. Anxiety is hard. I feel like when you've gone through infertility you're not allowed to admit struggles because people claim you're ungrateful. I had two horrible pregnancies and two really hard post partum periods but didn't say anything because I was afraid of backlash.

It's hard. You're not alone.